Managing Holiday Cheer
By: Mary Alston Kerllenevich, Ph.D.

The holiday season is a time many of us wait for all year. There’s a lot of great things to look forward to: the parties, the presents, friends and family, millions of tiny white lights spreading cheer through our town. Yet the holiday season is also a stressful one. There’s a lot that goes into preparing for all that holiday cheer: the shopping in overcrowded stores, finding presents that friends and loved ones will actually like, baking, sending out cards, putting up lights, extra church services, preparing for visitors or packing for a trip. And with all of the holiday events there’s not only less time to get everything done, there’s bound to be some after-effects from all the celebrations. Kids get cranky from too much sugar, adults may be plagued by eggnog hangovers, and everyone can be tired or over-stimulated. With all we have to do for the holidays, it’s a wonder that we have any energy leftover for work.

Even for people who love the holidays, the season can be a stressful one. For others, holidays can be a very sad time of year. There’s the added sorrow of missed loved ones, frustration with family conflict, or loneliness from being away from family. There’s a reason that we put up all those bright lights – this is the darkest and coldest time of the year. We often don’t manage the stress very well. Families are more likely to fight during the Christmas season than any other time of year. The Sheriff’s Office is bound to get more calls to help other families manage disputes. Property crime rises, and even homicide rates traditionally peak on Christmas day. We need some holiday cheer to see us through. Yet managing that cheer can be difficult for everyone.

For many people, the high expectations we have for a happy holiday season leads to frustration with our current lives. We tell ourselves that we should have created some better life – be married, have kids, have grandchildren who visit frequently and are always polite – whatever the expectation, it can become more unrealistic during the holidays. We want our family gatherings to be as perfectly presentable as the presents under the tree and for our memories from this holiday to be perfect in every way.

So, in the spirit of keeping the holidays a happy time for everyone (most especially yourself), here are some tips for making the most of all that holiday cheer:

• Keep your expectations realistic. No one’s family or holiday is perfect. Try to focus on the things that are going well. Tell yourself, “At least I got to see my favorite aunt” even if everyone else at the dinner table drives you crazy.
   

• Keep it simple. Don’t try to do everything. You’ll only end up rushing and will miss out on enjoying time with family and friends. It’s the quiet moments and simple joys that we often remember as our best traditions.
   

• Don’t despair if you can’t get the whole family together. When there are step-families or in-laws involved you have to share family members and focus on appreciating the times that you do have together.
   

• Try to stick to your family routine as much as possible. Changing your schedule to fit in extra holiday events can be stressful for everyone, and changing mealtimes and bedtimes when kids are involved can create chaos and tantrums. Plan well and plan small.
   

• Leave some downtime in your holiday schedule. Set aside time for yourself to relax and recuperate. Remember to take walks, go to the gym, sit and chat with friends and families.
   

• Don’t overdo the partying. Not only are hangovers stressful, but those extra pounds can be depressing after the holidays are over. You can enjoy the celebration and still stick to a reasonable diet.
   

• Remember to slow down and enjoy the season. If you can slow down by just a few minutes every day, you’ll have time to appreciate all the wonders of the season and make this a holiday to remember.
   

• If the holidays are a difficult time of year for you, consider taking advantage of the Sheriff’s Office Employee Assistance Program and talk to a counselor. Just doing a little venting can help a lot.
   

Here’s to a happy holiday season for everyone at the SJSO.

 

Mary Alston Kerllenevich earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Clark University in 2006. She completed her pre-doctoral internship with Emory School of Medicine at Grady Hospital in Atlanta prior to joining Psychological Services of St. Augustine in 2006. She works with both adults and children, and specializes in treating a variety of child behavior problems, and problems with depression and anxiety. She particularly enjoys working with young children and families, and uses a solution-focused approach in her treatment of mental health problems.

Psychological Services of St. Augustine, Inc.

Main Office: 1100-1 South Ponce de Leon Boulevard, St. Augustine, Florida 32084
Phone (904) 824-7733 Fax (904) 829-9768

Southlake Office: 300 Kingsley Lake Dr, Suite 403 St Augustine, FL 32092

pssa@pssacare.com